Say That Again 

Check out these excerpts from real classified ads. 

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Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.

Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: One.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

For sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Great Dames for sale.

Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

— Adapted from quotesandjokes.com

Curiosity: The Beginning Of a Life Of Discovery

 
Luther Burbank, the famed horticulturist, invited every guest who visited his home to sign the guest book. Each line in the book had a space for the guest’s name, address and special interests.

When inventor Thomas Edison visited Burbank, he signed the book and in the space marked “Interested in,” Edison wrote in the word, “Everything,” followed by a large exclamation point. That was almost an understatement. In his lifetime, Edison invented the incandescent light, the phonograph, the wax recording and the hideaway bed.

He also invented wax paper, a variety of Portland cement, underground electrical wires, an electric railway car, an electric railroad signal, the light socket and light switch, a method for making synthetic rubber from goldenrod plants, the chemical phenol and the motion picture camera.

He also found time to start the first electric company and gave us the quadruplex telegraph. If there is a moral here, it is that curiosity about the world around us can open up opportunities for us that we wouldn’t even dream about otherwise.

— From IdeaBank

How a Little Imagination Changed the Way We Shop

Before supermarkets existed as we know them, going to the grocery store used to be a totally different experience. In the past, customers walked in and told a clerk what they wanted. Then the clerk set to the task of compiling the order for the customer.

Clarence Saunders made his living as a grocery store clerk in a small Southern town. He had never made more than $20 a week. One day he stood in line at a cafeteria carrying a tray, waiting to select his food. Clarence Saunders had always seemed like an ordinary man. Nothing in him so far had indicated that he had any unusual abilities.

That day, as he stood in line, something happened. In his mind two ideas collided. His imagination took off and he took the “self-help” idea of the cafeteria and applied it to a grocery store. Thus was born the Piggly-Wiggly chain of grocery stores. Clarence Saunders, the $20 a week clerk, became a millionaire and grocery shopping was forever changed.

— Adapted from The Law of Success in Sixteen Lessons by Napoleon Hill